Monday, 28 July 2008


I'll kill Jubli later.

I am : your worst nightmare. No I haven't watched Batman yet.
I think : that you need a life.
I know : that Oscar Wilde wasn't gay and that Paris Hilton is a virgin. I do.
I want : to marry anybody who sings like Alanis.
I have : to write my math assignment. (insert swear words)
I wish : there was a multiplex near my coll, or in it. You can't bunk and go nowhere, can you?
I hate: songi peoples. :P
I miss: school. *sob*
I fear : that I'm becoming thin. Oh, am I?
I feel : that condoms are called condoms for a reason.
I hear : Page and his guitar. He can't be human.
I smell : a rat.
I crave : for ice cream. No, panipuri. Yes.
I search : for my glasses. All the time. I gotta search for em without em. How ironic.
I wonder : why people don't take laxatives when they don't give a shit to my blog posts. (Ok, pj.)
I regret : not studying for tomorrow's test. :))
I love : my friends, my teachers, my neighbour, my neighbour's dog, . . .(insert more swear words) Ok, get the first item off that list.
I ache : for ... I dunno.
I am not : who you want me to be.
I dance : like pappu.
I sing : like Cobain.
I cry : never. I don't. Haven't, actually. Ok, maybe. Go play ball or something, sheesh.
I don't always : brush my teeth.
I fight : not.
I write : shit.
I win : imaginary battles.
I lose : Burnout. :) More often than not.
I never : say a sentence without a swear word.
I always : start reading a magazine or a newspaper from the end.
I confuse : <--- self explanatory sentence.
I listen : to lectures, yeah. (swear words)
I can usually be found : in my house, not.
I need : Salma Hayek. Interested?
I am happy about : life. Eej hard, yeah, but I'm happy. Could've been better yeah, but am happy.
I imagine : a world that makes sense. It doesn't, now. And I know I'm part of the reason why.
I tag : Subhash, Ashwin and Darth Vinode.


Monday, 7 July 2008

Seniors and Senioribility

One year back.

Dumb Senior (obviously talking to respectful juniors for the first time in his life) : Dey.
Me : Oh. Hi.
DS : I had to call you twice.
Me : Oh. I didn't notice.
Dumb Senior 2 : You didn't notice?! (some slight class 3 tamil swears)
Me : No.
DS2 : time, notice. (spoiling the whole effect)
DS : Wokay. Name, department, area, song.
Me : Eh?
DS : You have a name, no?
Me : (after making up my mind to check in the mirror after getting home if my face had 'English Only' written all over it) Yeah. Sammok.
DS2 : What?
Me : Sammok. EC.
DS2 : What's that?
Me : My name.
DS2 : What does it mean?
Me : (in no mind to humour him) I dunno.
DS : Wokay, which area you are in?
Me : Main block, 4th floor, 403.
DS : Oh. Hostel a?
Me : No. Day.
DS : You live in the classroom or what?! (annoyed)
Me : No. From Korattur.
DS2 : Why your name is like that? (meaning : why is your name weird?)
Me : I dunno. Must be boring to have a normal name.
DS2 : Anyway, what song?
Me : (with genuine disinterest) I can't sing!
DS : Come on, mobile battery down da, konjam entertainment, please.
Me : I don't know any Tamil songs.
DS : Okay, sing English. You know Titanic song, no..?

... ... ...

One year later, after results.

DS : Hey da mama.
Me : Hey.
DS : How many?
Me : 75.
DS : Dogg! I asked how many! Not how much! (very very annoyed, but with slightly better English)
Me : Oh. None. You?
DS : You are EC da. Naye passanga.
(dog people, literally) I've got 6 standing from last sem.
Me : Heh.
DS : What's so funny?
Me : That girl you asked me to give that letter to, from EEE, she's got 6 too.

Moral : Seniors are dumb. You'll be a senior one day too. I am one, now. Learn.